Be You

We’ve all had our “Netflix moment”.

That one show, you watched on a lazy Saturday evening, wearing the most comfortable clothes, tucked in your favourite blanket,infinitely browsing, stopping at the description, deciddng to watch it and then the “Dejavu”... you paused and you thought – That very moment you related to the show.

On one such lazy Saturday (Most Saturday’s being lazy, though) I stumbled upon this movie called “Sierra Burgess is a Loser”. The movie suggestion would pop up every time I logged in, but somehow I wondered if it was an affirmative-negative title or not. One fine Saturday, I decided to hit the play button and there was my moment!

You know that kid in high school, who sat in one corner , with chubby cheeks as if they had mozzarella cheese stuffing filled into them, the one who had his/her head buried in books.The teachers adored them; they were in literature clubs, debate competitions, competitive exams and obviously scored good grades..

I was one of those idiots...

While I fit the criteria of a “good student” – something for which my younger sister still blames me, since she always got the ‘why don’t you be like her’ from literally everyone around her; high school, you know,  is not just about being the good student, it’s tough!

You are in your early teenage and as the acnes and pimples break out on your face, so do your classmates. There are these figure perfects, who are into dance, aerobics ,sports and all the famous entertaining activities. The entire school is die-hard fan of these famous kids.
Then there are these studious kids, who are only bothered about two things- books and food.

Sierra Burgess got me back in time and I wished I could tell the 14 year old me that 'gargi you did look pretty'

The movie starts with this chubby cheek intelligent girl who has a super low self esteem about her looks. The famous girl in the school gives Sierra’s numbers instead of hers when the soccer game lead asks her out in a cafe. In a modern day ‘know each other by texting’ situation;  its’ only a couple of text messages later does Sierra realize that the cell phone numbers were swapped and the cute soccer game lead who she already likes by now, so far thought that he has been chatting with the famous girl!

The movie now revolves around  their lives, when both girls strike a deal, and teach each other for some personal benefit instead of envying. In the end, their lie is caught; the soccer lead learns the truth & yet picks up Sierra for the homecoming. 

I had my Netflix moment at this point. I went back to my school days and saw myself and related so very much to Sierra.. I was much like her.  I wished, I could tell the teenager me , that it didn’t matter; that she was beautiful irrespective of the way she looked or what she did. Also, took a note to myself that the right one will be with you no matter what!

For all the cryptic excuses I gave myself, it took me some good years to get it out of my overthinking head that I was never going to be the beautiful one. Now, that I dot the changing points, I realize, we always want to be someone else , perhaps thinking that , being them could get us that one thing we so desired.

I am not spilling the entire movie plot, since I believe watching it will be much a greater experience but I write because I believe we all have been there.

I have been both- fat-to-fit and fit-to-fat and while I continue to make decent efforts to becoming a healthier person, I do not apologize for how I look or what I am or what I will be.

Having those thoughts in your teenage is but natural but don't carry that drama years down the line.

You are beautiful the way you are and not because you are fat or skinny, fair or dark, short or long! It doesn't matter what the attributes are, what does is how you customize them to be yours.

I didn’t do it then, but I do now.... find ways to make me better with each passing day, picking up the little pieces for the good and loving every part of me.. adding more flavors to the mozzarella cheese perhaps 😊

For its important, to keep falling in love with yourself every SINGLE day!