I remember sipping piping hot tea from a paper cup on a late afternoon in a lawn at the Bharatpur Bird Sanctuary.
The light from sun was starting to get dimmer, and the cold winds were taking the main chair. The babblers were dancing around, the camera gears resting on the granite benches and we were busy making a list of sightings of the day!
Topics followed trail and we found ourselves discussing solo travelling. I exclaimed, ' I want to travel solo too, but wouldn't that be boring?
That is when the three people who I was taking this trip with, calmed the sprinting me down and gave me some piece of mind. Mario, Vishu and Sameer have always been my travel inspirations, for all three of them come with a different variety of tales and enthusiasm, that one looks forward to the trip to!
They said, 'Gargi, If you cannot entertain yourself, how do you expect others to enjoy your company?'
That sentence, those words struck me like a bolt of lightning! This was the winter of 2015 and I have been wondering since then....
So many articles, so many posts did I read on solitude, on loving oneself, but somehow , something did not connect. My brain could not process the thought of being alone. It always was a red flag and sometimes this insecurity took over my entire though process. I was a metropolitan city kid, growing up in crowds and always surrounded by people and blessed enough to be pampered and looked after!
When I moved out , I stuck to netflix in my initial days when work wasn't occupying my mind and time. I did not want the fear dragon guarding me. The pampering hadn't stopped although, it just shaped into love over really long phone calls.
So much so, that even when I was house hunting , my friend Charu knew every detail of what was happening! She even jokes, that I am virtually always with her. Yes, you could call me the always-connected-to person!
One sunday night, I happen to watch the movie - Eat,Pray and Love. A movie I think I would watch a 100 times over. I connected to Liz instantly when she felt she was not into her relation anymore.She hyperventilated, just like I do.
But what mended a troubled her was beyond just chocolates and ice cream and a girlfriend counselling session. She ate what she loved even though it gave her a muffin top( This one's the best takeaway from the movie), she found meditation when she made peace with her past , deciding to send love and light every time she thought about it and she found love when she lived it!
One of the perks of staying alone at this age is that your brain takes precedence. It knows it cannot allow you to shatter away into pieces and holds you upright in an invisible blanket. Surprisingly a melodramatic me stayed pretty strong during the entire transition, I wonder if I was growing cold. They said it might dawn upon me once I settle down. Who knew I had set foot to meet a different me...
Gandhinagar has beautiful roads and pleasant evenings. So when I was done with my to-do's for a Saturday, I decided to take a long stride down the road.
My ear drums heard the peacock howling, instead of my playlist. The birds were chirping melodious rhythms as they headed back to their nest. As I walked ahead, a lapwing flew diagonally close to the ground level and landed swiftly. The sun was blasting hues of orange and yellow in the background as it bid goodbye for the day. He soon disappeared and the night walked in. Instead of shoe shopping, I was grocery shopping! Oh Boy, what merriment it brought when I fixed myself a sandwich with cheese and nuggets and mayonnaise. Not the healthiest, but definitely the happiest.
I heard my favorite song that night and had one of the rarest peaceful sleep of all time
This is exactly when I learnt to keep my phone away, and entertain myself. It was no longer boring and I didn't just need sitcoms to do away with time. Primarily, I didn't have to do away with time. It is when the words - Eat, Pray and Love made so much sense.
Loving yourself is just not a day's job or vacation induced thing. You have to grow with you, learn with you and accept you. Solitude is defined by you. Who knew I would be dancing cheerfully and having my first prize kinda walk just because I learnt to organize the kitchen!
Maybe I am starting to love my own company..
I do certainly miss the pampering, the constant go-to people, but just like Elizabeth, every time I think of it I send them love and light! For loved ones miles apart and lands beyond....
Attraversiamo -Lets cross over
P.S: Until I find my word, lets stick to this one
The light from sun was starting to get dimmer, and the cold winds were taking the main chair. The babblers were dancing around, the camera gears resting on the granite benches and we were busy making a list of sightings of the day!
Topics followed trail and we found ourselves discussing solo travelling. I exclaimed, ' I want to travel solo too, but wouldn't that be boring?
That is when the three people who I was taking this trip with, calmed the sprinting me down and gave me some piece of mind. Mario, Vishu and Sameer have always been my travel inspirations, for all three of them come with a different variety of tales and enthusiasm, that one looks forward to the trip to!
They said, 'Gargi, If you cannot entertain yourself, how do you expect others to enjoy your company?'
That sentence, those words struck me like a bolt of lightning! This was the winter of 2015 and I have been wondering since then....
So many articles, so many posts did I read on solitude, on loving oneself, but somehow , something did not connect. My brain could not process the thought of being alone. It always was a red flag and sometimes this insecurity took over my entire though process. I was a metropolitan city kid, growing up in crowds and always surrounded by people and blessed enough to be pampered and looked after!
When I moved out , I stuck to netflix in my initial days when work wasn't occupying my mind and time. I did not want the fear dragon guarding me. The pampering hadn't stopped although, it just shaped into love over really long phone calls.
So much so, that even when I was house hunting , my friend Charu knew every detail of what was happening! She even jokes, that I am virtually always with her. Yes, you could call me the always-connected-to person!
One sunday night, I happen to watch the movie - Eat,Pray and Love. A movie I think I would watch a 100 times over. I connected to Liz instantly when she felt she was not into her relation anymore.She hyperventilated, just like I do.
But what mended a troubled her was beyond just chocolates and ice cream and a girlfriend counselling session. She ate what she loved even though it gave her a muffin top( This one's the best takeaway from the movie), she found meditation when she made peace with her past , deciding to send love and light every time she thought about it and she found love when she lived it!
One of the perks of staying alone at this age is that your brain takes precedence. It knows it cannot allow you to shatter away into pieces and holds you upright in an invisible blanket. Surprisingly a melodramatic me stayed pretty strong during the entire transition, I wonder if I was growing cold. They said it might dawn upon me once I settle down. Who knew I had set foot to meet a different me...
Gandhinagar has beautiful roads and pleasant evenings. So when I was done with my to-do's for a Saturday, I decided to take a long stride down the road.
My ear drums heard the peacock howling, instead of my playlist. The birds were chirping melodious rhythms as they headed back to their nest. As I walked ahead, a lapwing flew diagonally close to the ground level and landed swiftly. The sun was blasting hues of orange and yellow in the background as it bid goodbye for the day. He soon disappeared and the night walked in. Instead of shoe shopping, I was grocery shopping! Oh Boy, what merriment it brought when I fixed myself a sandwich with cheese and nuggets and mayonnaise. Not the healthiest, but definitely the happiest.
I heard my favorite song that night and had one of the rarest peaceful sleep of all time
This is exactly when I learnt to keep my phone away, and entertain myself. It was no longer boring and I didn't just need sitcoms to do away with time. Primarily, I didn't have to do away with time. It is when the words - Eat, Pray and Love made so much sense.
Loving yourself is just not a day's job or vacation induced thing. You have to grow with you, learn with you and accept you. Solitude is defined by you. Who knew I would be dancing cheerfully and having my first prize kinda walk just because I learnt to organize the kitchen!
Maybe I am starting to love my own company..
I do certainly miss the pampering, the constant go-to people, but just like Elizabeth, every time I think of it I send them love and light! For loved ones miles apart and lands beyond....
Attraversiamo -Lets cross over
P.S: Until I find my word, lets stick to this one
